I'm saddened to report that I just got a note from Jon Hoadley, that he is leaving Stonewall Dems. Jon has been a tireless advocate for the national GLBTQ movement both before (and no doubt after) his tenure at Stonewall Dems; and I personally intend to see what we can do from here in Chicago to support his effort at One Kalamazoo. ScottsBigMouth, and I'm sure the rest of the hardcore GLBTQ blogerati wish Jon well, and thank him for his service thus far.
Here's the actual letter...PLEASE consider making a donation if you have the means.
Thanks,
Scott Foval
<<<EMAIL FROM STONEWALL DEMOCRATS>>>
Dear Pro-equality Democrat,
I wanted to take a moment and say thank you.
If you haven't heard, I'm stepping down as Executive Director of
Stonewall Democrats to lead One Kalamazoo, a new Kalamazoo, Michigan
campaign to protect the local nondiscrimination ordinance that is being
challenged in a ballot fight this November.
While it was a difficult decision to end my tenure at Stonewall Democrats, I'm confidant the organization will continue to do great work in the capable hands of interim Director Kyle Bailey.
Stonewall
Democrats is in a secure place financially. We've recently expanded our
talented staff, and our new board is smart and strategic. Stonewall
will be gearing up for the 2010 elections with new leadership, and I'm
excited to see what the organization will accomplish.
Because I know they'll do great things, I'm continuing my financial support of the organization - in fact, I'm increasing it
to $125 per month. I know we can't waste the next year, and my money
will support Stonewall Democrats like you who are working hard right now to secure victories for pro-equality Democrats around the country.
Giving to Stonewall during this important transition will allow the
organization's work to continue unabated, and even grow. Our staff has
ambitious plans for the next year. We're planning to roll out new
services to aid our chapters - and members like you - doing the
important field work that elects pro-equality Democrats in cities,
counties, and states across the country.
Please give to
Stonewall - even $35 helps us place staff on key races and turn out
LGBT voters for amazing Democrats - to help me say goodbye to the
organization that continues to inspire the work I do everyday.
Thank you in advance for your generosity, and thank you for the hard
work you continue to do at the grassroots level to build our movement
from the ground up.
To continued victories, Jon Hoadley
Paid for by National Stonewall Democrats.
1325 Massachusetts Avenue, NW Suite 700 Washington, DC 20005
I was appalled yesterday to learn the IL General Assembly had adjourned without a budget bill. Governor Quinn and state legislators just couldn't come to to the table and at least halt the bleeding. At a reported $100,000.00, they all showed up for a special session to do nothing, and meanwhile the people suffer. Cuts are coming, a train wreck is just about to hit, and our state officials took a two-day trip to Springfield just to sit there and do nothing.
Whether the hole is $9 billion or some other number is not the issue. Whether Gov. Quinn and John Cullerton are having a disagreement over recall legislation isn't the issue either. The issue is that what is best for the people of Illinois is being ignored, again. Unfortunately it seems to be more important to pontificate about whose fault it is, who is running for Governor or U.S. Senate next year, who's marching at what parade, and who's got the next bead on the next political rally; than it is to actually govern.
We have no idea where or when this is going to be resolved. Meanwhile, millions of dollars in IL Dept. of Human Services programs sit on the chopping block. Line items directed at cutting HIV/AIDS programs, drug treatment, food for the hungry, and emergency intervention services for the homeless also are pending. Finally, literally billions of dollars in stimulus program money may be in jeopardy, again, simply because the Governor and the Assembly still can't come to figure out a solution.
Early reports this morning are that Gov. Quinn and the rest of the Democratic majority in Springfield has one set of numbers (around $9.2 billion in the hole) and Republican Gubernatorial aspirant State Rep. Matt Murphy claims to have another...and a solution. Of course both camps are positioning this budget fight about who's going to be in the Governor's mansion while Illinois' dependent citizens and the rest of us suffer.
It seems that the only person in Springfield who doesn't have his head in politicoville is IL State Comptroller Dan Hynes. According to Tuesday's Chicago Tribune, Hynes is reportedly proposing a 60-day spending plan coupled with state agency disciplinary policies that could align the budget into something the Guv and the Assembly might be able to see eye-to-eye on long term. Of course, neither Quinn nor Cullerton are budging, or jumping behind Hynes' plan--the only reasonable option that has been proposed in any real detail.
Why? Well its really simple really. Neither the Governor nor the members of the General Assembly want to go on the record to cut programs, pass ethics reform, reel in campaign contributions, or curb spending. None of them want to be seen as doing anything that would be seen as hurting someone. The problem with that attitude of course, is that we put them there to take action, and have the intestinal fortitude to actually make some decisions. It is common sense not to target these programmatic cuts at the poor, and liberals will scream bloody murder when it happens (and it might). On the other side, the endlessly pro-business Republican troops led by State Rep. Christine Radogno claim Illinois will continue to lose jobs and businesses if Illinois raises any taxes or fees or passes any sort of perceived anti-business measure.
So who's right? First and foremost, Hynes. He is the only executive within the State of Illinois who is proposing a solution. Both sides need to strap on a pair and get in line behind his simple first-step plan. Otherwise we're going to be in the middle of that aforementioned train wreck before the end of July.
There are a lot of ways that Christians differ between various denominations. Like Muslims, Buddhists, Jews, and scores of other world religions; your beliefs emanate largely from your particular slice of your chosen Christian sect. This time, it would seem that I am at odds with my Christian brother Rev. Rick Warren of the Saddleback Church in Orange County.
Apparently, on the night of December 21st, Pastor Rick decided to record a little video ditty for his congregation, and people like me--many of whom have criticized some of the crazy crap he has been spewing regarding homosexuals and our need to have equal civil rights in this country. Specifically, I and other writers, commentators, and GLBTQ luminaries; have expressed sheer outrage that Warren has compared homosexuals to pedophiles, outlawed them from joining his church, and instituted a systematic pattern of exclusion in beliefs and practices from his special "Saddleback brand" of Christianity.
Further, we called for President-Elect Barack Obama to withdraw the invitation for Pastor Rick to give the invocation at his inaugural ceremony; citing the aforementioned pattern of exclusion and homophobic commentary that has leaked from Warren's pie hole over the past several months leading up to California's Prop 8 vote. Now it would seem that Pastor Rick has thrown the verbal equivalent of kerosene on the fire right before Christmas, by referring to people who criticize him as "Christophobes."
Here's just a sampling of what Warren said during his 22-minute rambling commentary, courtesy of Rachel Maddow on MSNBC...
Okay, Pastor Rick; time to stop this stuff. You are now labeling anyone who criticizes you a "Christophobe." As a Christian who happens to be a gay man, who also happens to be a commentator and blogger, and who also comes from a long line of Christians in long-devout Christian families; I assure you...I am no "Christophobe." As a matter of fact, I'm about as much as a "Christophobe" as you are a drag queen. Now, unfortunately, I may be a "Pastor Rick-o-phobe" as Rachel cleverly coined.
Your incessant need to re-clarify your position on something that you never should have been so exclusionary in the first place, is now beginning to harm your legitimacy as a Christian leader. It threatens to cause people to just look at you and your ministry as zealotry. I mean, are you even being Christian when you call other people names?
According to my Christian upbringing, the answer would clearly be a resounding "no." The way my Christian faith follows, 1) God loves all his children, 2) has a very high tolerance for diversity and love between people in all its forms, and 3) has a very low tolerance for people who use the name of Christ for zealotry, divisiveness, and hate speech.
I am not saying at this point that you are intentionally misusing your position as a Pastor to manipulate people into believing your homophobic schlock, but I really must believe at this point that you are attempting to create your own belief-system that is diverging from the core of "Christ died on the cross to cleanse all our sins."
That's called dogma, Pastor Rick, and God frowns on a lot of dogma.
God frowns upon the clerics and zeaolts who purport to spread divisiveness, bigotry, and yes, hate. What you are doing by turning to attack your critics as "Christophobes," is manipulating the core message. You have crossed over from mere religious teaching, into preaching divisiveness and perhaps zealotry to your followers.
I don't care how many visits to West Hollywood book stores you make, how many times you scrub your church's website, or how many times you send money to Africa to fight HIV/AIDS (oh yeah, I'm HIV+ too!). Until you clean up your act as a man of God and do some repenting on this issue, I am going to continue to demand my President-Elect denounces your clerical lynching, and demand that you make an apology to all gays, lesbians, transgendered and questioning persons.
I will demand from you, my brother, as a Christian, that you do some praying about this--and then get back to us about whether you really believe that all of us who criticize you are "Christophobes." That's just name-calling, and it is not what I believe is devoutly Christian behavior. Rather, your ego is doing the talking; and not the voice of the Father, the Son, or the Holy Spirit.
>>>>>>>>>>> ScottsBigMouth Is Presented By <<<<<<<<<<<
Today I received an early birthday gift from the folks at The Huffington Post. They decided to go ahead and publish my HIV+ coming out story this morning.
If you haven't read it, I hope you'll take a sec and check it out, and then forward it to a friend. Let's recommit this holiday season to erasing the politics of division, the scourge of ignorance, and fight back against agents of intolerance with the most powerful tool we have...Love.
Since I published the original post on World AIDS Day here on ScottsBigMouth, I have received TONS of emails and Facebook messages from people I haven't seen or heard from for YEARS, all expressing thanks and love for sharing my story. Unanimously, my friends have stepped forward to support the reason I decided to go public with the story, as the message is just too important to keep quiet.
All my heartfelt love to each and every one of you who takes the message of the post to heart. As always, it is the message that matters here. Also, my love to Tim, who keeps tolerating me "5 years on." Okay, it sounds corny, but like the Whitney Houston song "I Have Nothing Without You." It's totally true. Without the support and encouragement of Tim and my family, I might never have launched ScottsBigMouth, or told the story. Now, because of people who have been touched by the story, hopefully it is spreading in a meaningful way. Its the best birthday gift I could possibly get!
I'm humbled and thank everyone who's been touched enough to forward the story onward. I encourage you to post your comments here on ScottsBigMouth.com and on HuffingtonPost.com. People need to see that there is support and love for people who are HIV+, for those who are unsure about their status, for those who are unsure about whether their families will still love them for being gay, and for those who have felt they might not ever find what they're searching for. I've been lucky enough to find it in finding Tim, and in finding the power of sharing with you on ScottsBigMouth.
Love,
Scott
>>>>>>>>>>> ScottsBigMouth Is Presented By <<<<<<<<<<<
When I heard on Wednesday that Rev. Rick Warren
had been selected to deliver the invocation at the inauguration of
Barack Obama, I was deeply disappointed. While Warren has been hailed
in the media as "new breed of evangelical" and he does have a strong
record on addressing poverty and the global HIV/AIDS crisis, the
reality is that he also is a divisive Religious Right demagogue.
The Presidential Inaugural Committee website states that it
"will organize an inclusive and accessible inauguration that ... unites
the nation around our shared values and ideals." President-elect
Obama's soaring campaign speeches included similar calls for Americans
to unite around what brings us together rather than what tear us apart,
and we deeply appreciate that he wants to heal the divide in our often
deeply polarized country. But Rick Warren is a powerful leader who
marginalizes and dehumanizes those who disagree with him -- he does
nothing to help unite Americans!
In an interview just last week, Warren compared reproductive
choice to the Holocaust and compared same-sex marriage to incest and
pedophilia, and he called Christians who work to advance social justice
gospel "Marxism in Christian clothing." He's also stated that there are
five issues that all candidates should be evaluated on -- the top three
are reproductive choice, same-sex marriage and stem-cell research.
Is this the sort of inclusion millions of Americans voted for on
November 4? We strongly agree with President-elect Obama that everyone
should have a seat at the table, but only those who treat others with
respect should get a seat of honor. We have high hopes for the change
Obama has pledged to bring to Washington, but we also need to let him
know when we think he's making a bad move. Please join me in signing an
open letter to President-elect Obama to let him know that we are
disappointed that he's giving Rev. Warren such a public position of
honor in the inauguration, and we hope that we can use this as a
teachable moment. It's not that Rick Warren simply disagrees with us --
and President-elect Obama for that matter -- on "issues." His views on
basic equality, human rights and core constitutional values cannot be
legitimized as reasonable.
P.S. It's been a great year. I've been thrilled to be part of
People For the American Way and the exciting, important work we’ve done
together. I've counted on you for support, to be the voice of the
grassroots, and to spread the word about our important campaigns.
You've done so much and you have my gratitude and appreciation for all
of it. This will be my last Friday note until the new year, so I wanted
to make sure to say THANK YOU for all you do.
>>>>>>>>>>> ScottsBigMouth Is Presented By <<<<<<<<<<<
So far Barack Obama has been pretty smart in making choices for his cabinet and his Inaugural festivities. A rare misstep, the choice of Pastor Rick Warren for his Inaugural, is a serious one; and it should put the GLBTQ community on alert about whether or not Obama really has our back.
For the uninformed, Rick Warren was before the election, and continues to be now, a serious opponent of GLBTQ civil rights. He was extremely anti-gay in his sermons and statements related to the California Prop 8 measure, and has continued to purposefully blur the line in his statements about Prop 8. He even went as far as to express concern that the State of California would restrict his ability to speak out in the pulpit against gay rights, even though there never has been a measure that has even addressed the issue--sticking strictly to the issuance of marriage licenses alone.
Barack Obama, in choosing the political route by inviting Warren to participate in his Inagural festivities, is delivering a serious "I don't give a crap about you" to the GLBTQ community that backed his message of change. He is basically forsaking the Change mantra by co-opting the religious moral right crowd, in a shrewd attempt to disarm them. The problem is, now that he has done this, an entire political block that was squarely in his corner during the election will no longer trust him to represent them going forward. In effect, he has put out the signal that discrimination against the GLBTQ community, and lies by those who continue to espouse the anti-gay rhetoric of the right, are okay and should be allowed in his administration.
Well, I'm sorry Mr. Obama. You are wrong on this one. Choosing anti-gay Rick Warren is like throwing a cocktail in the face of every member of the GLBTQ Army that you so delicately recruited to join your cause during the election. You have just made it incredibly harder for us to call for fairness, simply by validating the Right's biggest wolf-in-sheep's-clothing. Sure, you've disarmed many of the people who thought you were too liberal to begin with, and therefore by picking Warren to give your invocation you have given them less ammo to throw at you. You have to admit, though, sir, that you did this for politically expedient reasons, and really didn't consider the need to help guarantee basic equal rights and the core message that it means for ALL PEOPLE by being principled in your choices.
No, Mr. Obama, you have sent a shiver up the spine of every GLBTQ American who believed that you might actually be the voice and actor of real change. What you have proven with this choice, is that unifying hateful people into your tent is more important than protecting those of us who helped put up that tent in the first place. You've hurt more than our feelings, sir. You've kicked us when we were down by supporting the enemy. The GLBTQ Army is becoming more militant, and we won't forget this shot to the gut.
>>>>>>>>>>> ScottsBigMouth Is Presented By <<<<<<<<<<<
On World AIDS Day, December 1, 2008, on the WhiteHouse.gov website, U.S. AIDS Czar Amb. Dr. Mark Dybul, touted the Administration's accomplishments under the PEPFAR (Presidents Emergency Plan For AIDS Relief) Program. The web-based Q&A was clearly purposed to help establish George W. Bush's legacy as a fighter in the war against HIV/AIDS. Unfortunately, it would seem that Dybul's comments further highlighted the fact that Bush indeed prioritized funding for the politically-convenient purposes of fighting HIV/AIDS abroad, which targets populations that are dually-served by evangelical organizations that helped elect him and steer clear of messy moral connections to the GLBTQ community; while simultaneously ignoring calls for enhanced support of HIV/AIDS testing and treatment programs in his own country.
Such programs at home, 90% of which have been requested or administered by social groups serving the African American and GLBTQ communities, and generally reject Bush's abstinence-only sex education principles; have seen massive cuts under Bush's regime. While it is cheaper and easier, thanks to the Bush Administrations' work, for NGOs servicing Africa and Asia to buy and distribute life-saving anti-retroviral drugs to the masses, here at home ADAP and Ryan White programs continue to be dealt massive funding cuts from the Federal Budget. To add insult to injury, the cutting-edge "single-pill solutions" like Bristol Myers Squibb's Atripla, and its competing treaments from other pharmy giants, routinely run in the $1200-$2500 range per month according to insurance companies' own formularies. This hypocrisy is evident in the manner in which Dybul talks about Bush's overall "leadership" on the issue. There literally is zero discussion of the HIV/AIDS situation at home, which has become exponentially worse during his 8 years in office.
Below is the unedited transcript of the post from http://www.whitehouse.gov/ask/20081201.html "Ask The White House"
Web Page Q&A with Ambassador Dr. Mark Dybul, U.S. Global AIDS
Coordinator, on December 1, 2008. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> BEGIN
TRANSCRIPT<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< December 1, 2008
Mark Dybul
After several years as PEPFAR Coordinator I am still amazed at the
achievements that our partner nations have made with the support of the
American people in the fight against HIV/AIDS. In 2003, just 50,000
people in sub-Saharan Africa were receiving antiretroviral treatment.
Today, five years after the inauguration of the President’s Emergency
Plan for AIDS Relief (PEPFAR), PEPFAR has fulfilled its commitment to
support treatment for two million people, the vast majority of whom
reside in sub-Saharan Africa. The President promised to lead the fight
against HIV/AIDS when he signed PEPFAR into law. And today we celebrate
the lives saved as a result of this initiative.
Brian, from Baltimore, MD
writes: Can you explain how PEPFAR is caring for people affected by AIDS?Thank
for
all of the work you have done on behalf of the American people.
Mark Dybul PEPFAR
has a comprehensive approach to care and supports host nations in
meeting the needs of orphans and vulnerable children affected by the
pandemic, as well as people living with HIV/AIDS. At the beginning of
PEPFAR five years ago, we were charged with care for 10 million people
in the 15 focus countries. As of September 30, 2008, nearly 9.7 million
people affected by HIV/AIDS in PEPFAR’s 15 focus countries had received
compassionate care, including nearly 4 million orphans and vulnerable
children. It is safe to say that as of today, the U.S. also has met the
goal of supporting care for 10 million people affected by HIV in the
focus countries. Globally, the U.S. is supporting care for over 10.1
million, including over 4 million children.
Randy, from Washington, DC
writes: Why has PEPFAR been so successful? What are the biggest challenges
ahead?
Mark Dybul PEPFAR
reflects the principles of President Bush’s New Era of development:
country ownership, good governance, results-based programs and
accountability, and economic growth. These reflect the
internationally-agreed Monterrey Consensus and Paris Declaration. The
fact that we’ve been able to partner with the countries where we work
and support them in achieving results in their countries has been
fundamental to our success.
The current economic
crisis may cause some to look inward to only work on problems in this
country, but as President Bush and Secretary Rice have emphasized, this
would be a serious mistake. Our work abroad, with PEPFAR and other
development initiatives, not only benefits countries around the world,
but also advances the United States’ economic, security and moral
interests.
Philip, from United Kingdom
writes: AmbassadorDo you believe the spread of AIDS can be controlled globally,
or
is this only possible in the more developed nations of the world?
Mark Dybul Philip,
the success of PEPFAR to date shows that success is possible even in
some of the poorest nations. Let me digress to an interesting point:
within developing countries, HIV/AIDS is not only a disease of the
poorest of the poor. HIV/AIDS often affects those who have risen or are
rising economically. It is those people who have mobility and resources
to engage in risky behavior. As a result, the people who are losing the
fight to HIV/AIDS are often in professions like education and health
care.
But I do believe we
can succeed in fighting this pandemic. Again, the results announced
today should be a source of hope that, together, we can win the fight
against HIV/AIDS.
Connie, from Sarnia, Ontario, Canada
writes: What can I do to help you and the President and our country (I was born
and
raised in CentralSoutheast Michigan,U.S.A.)to help all of our brothers
and sisters around the world suffering with AIDS?
Mark Dybul Connie,
you are already helping. The American people, through their tax dollars
that fund PEPFAR, have saved millions of lives around the world. The
support I have seen from the American people has been remarkable. Of
course, there remains much to do. If you are interested in engaging the
fight against HIV/AIDS there are many organizations involved in
fighting this pandemic around the world that are in need of both
funding and people to carry out their good deeds. You can volunteer
with or donate to these organizations, and you can also help by raising
awareness about HIV/AIDS within your own communities, including faith
communities. If you are interested in learning more about PEPFAR and
the countries in need – please visit our Web site at www.pepfar.gov.
2nd, from Winter Haven, Fl writes: What age group has the highest percentage of new AIDS cases? What are
you
doing to educate young people?
Mark Dybul The
demography of HIV varies among different developing nations, but in
many, the highest percentage of new HIV cases are in those in their
late teens and twenties – those who should be among the most productive
members in society. As a result, many countries have suffered horribly,
and large portions of whole generations have been decimated. In order
to prevent this, we reach young people with age- and
culturally-appropriate messages as soon as we can. The best approach to
treatment, care and all the other challenges posed by HIV/AIDS is to
prevent infection in the first place so that people do not need HIV
treatment or care. We try to make sure these messages reach young
people as effectively as we can. Long before PEPFAR was initiated,
African nations with generalized epidemics had already developed their
own highly successful national HIV prevention strategies that reflected
the “ABC” approach to behavior change (Abstain, Be faithful, correct
and consistent use of Condoms where appropriate). To aid in our
efforts, we have formed public-private partnerships to help
“modularize” and adapt successful prevention programs so that the
components found to be most effective and easy to transfer to other
geographic areas can be rapidly replicated, adapted, and scaled up.
Jiesheng, from Birmingham, United Kingdom writes: What steps has the US taken in working with the global community in
reaching
Goal 6 of the Millennium Development Goals (Combat HIVAIDs, malaria and
other diseases?)
Mark Dybul Thanks
for asking about this – my other answers have focused on our U.S.
bilateral HIV/AIDS programs, but your question gives me a chance to
highlight the Global Fund to Fight AIDS, Tuberculosis and Malaria. This
is an important part of our approach, and it also provides a mechanism
for other countries that don’t have the bilateral programs the U.S. has
to contribute to the effort against the three diseases. President Bush
provided the founding contribution to launch the Fund, and the U.S.
remains by far its largest supporter, contributing approximately 30% of
its resources. Today the Fund announced the latest results that have
been achieved through the programs it supports, and the U.S. will
continue to support this important mechanism – and to urge other
countries to utilize it as a way to increase their own commitments.
Again, thanks for the good question.
Mark Dybul
Thank you all so much for your questions and support. Development has
been a huge area of success for the American people over the last eight
years under President Bush's leadership – the results released earlier
this morning attest to this. We stand today at a critical juncture –
recalling where we were 30 years ago, yet so encouraged and hopeful as
a result of the substantial progress made in the last few years.
The principles of the new era of development that I spoke about earlier
reflect the compassion and generosity of the American people, and a
deep belief and in the dignity and worth of every human being. In this
time of economic duress, it is crucial that we stand by these beliefs –
and remember that although times are tough, there are others who are
worse off. You should be proud that, in partnership with host nations,
the American people have lifted millions of people up and saved their
lives. On this World AIDS Day 2008, let's continue to work in
partnership to serve one another and to achieve an HIV free generation
– and in so doing, change the world.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> END TRANSCRIPT<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
BIOGRAPHY:
Ambassador Mark R. Dybul
United States Global AIDS Coordinator
Ambassador
Mark R. Dybul serves as the United States Global AIDS Coordinator,
leading the implementation of President Bush's Emergency Plan for AIDS
Relief. From March to August 2006, he served as Acting U.S. Global AIDS
Coordinator, and prior to that he held the positions of Deputy U.S.
Global AIDS Coordinator and Assistant U.S. Global AIDS Coordinator.
Before coming to the Coordinator's Office, Ambassador Dybul served
on the Planning Task Force for the Emergency Plan, and was the lead for
the Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) for President Bush's
International Prevention of Mother and Child HIV Initiative.
At HHS, he also served as the Assistant Director for Medical
Affairs, National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases (NIAID),
National Institutes of Health (NIH), as well as Co-Executive Secretary
of the HHS HIV therapy guidelines for adults and adolescents. He
continues to be a Staff Clinician in the Laboratory of Immunoregulation
at NIAID/NIH and maintains an active role as the principal investigator
for clinical and basic research for U.S. and international protocols
with an emphasis on HIV therapy, particularly those that may be
applicable in resource-poor settings, including intermittent therapy
and HIV reservoirs and immunopathogenesis. Ambassador Dybul holds the
rank of assistant surgeon general and rear admiral in the U.S. Public
Health Service Commissioned Corps, the uniformed service of HHS. He is
also a former member of the World Health Organization's Writing
Committee to develop global HIV therapy guidelines.
Ambassador Dybul received his A.B. (1985) and M.D. (1992) from
Georgetown University before completing his residency in internal
medicine at the University of Chicago Hospitals (1995) and a fellowship
in infectious diseases at the National Institute of Allergy and
Infectious Diseases (1998).
>>>>>>>>>>> ScottsBigMouth Is Presented By <<<<<<<<<<<
This time of year is often
melancholy for me, and I often am asked why I tend to be a bit cranky
just before Thanksgiving. Rarely have I ever revealed the real
reason. Five years ago in November I was diagnosed HIV positive.
Following a serious bout with symptoms that I initially thought
were a case of the flu, or just fatigue brought on by my normal
workaholic tendencies, I visited the City of Chicago Department of
Health's drop-in testing center on Clark Street. While other people
were busy shuttling their kids from house to house for candy; donning
their fake boobs, wigs, dresses, and high heels for the Annual High
Heel Drag Race in Boystown; or getting some action at
packed-to-capacity bars citywide; I was living my own macabre
"Nightmare on Clark Street" by letting out 10 vials of blood and being
counseled on what I might be facing for the rest of my life.
That night, as the medical technician was searching for a good vein
to insert his needle, I silently started to shrink inside. Up to that
point I thought I had seen my trials by fire in life; after losing a
political career in Bush's theft of the 2000 election from Al Gore, in
the same week experiencing my live-in South African boyfriend trash my
heart by leaving me at Boston's Logan Airport never to be seen again,
each coming in succession after I lost all my money and the trappings
of the high-flying internet consultant's life when the bubble burst
only three months earlier. Here I was, though, as my friends were
gathering to celebrate a night of revelry and probably a bit of gleeful
debauchery, sitting in a clinic with more fear and terror in my heart
than I had felt ever before.
I tried to put on a brave face while gnawing a piece of caramel, as
the tech stuck me the first, the second, and finally the third effort
to tap a main line in my left arm. Surprisingly, the whole process
only took a few minutes, and after a very brief confidential counseling
session where I was told it would be ten days before I could learn the
results; I was back out on the street to begin the longest 10 days in
my life as I waited for official confirmation of what I already knew.
I had become one of the millions of people around the world infected
with HIV.
Reaching my little rented
coach house that night wasn't easy, as I
navigated through the surreal scene in Boystown and Wrigleyville;
reminded along the way of how I had gotten to this place in my life.
The entire way I encountered drunk, buzzed, swirled, and tweaked
people, escaping the daily grind of their lives any way they could; all
seemingly just on the brink of getting lucky. For the first time since
I had experienced the excitement of the urban jungle's favorite night
of sex, drugs, and rock and roll; I wanted no part of it. I went home
and fell asleep, drained by the effects of the hidden bio-warfare going
on in my body and the weight of the psychological burden I was carrying.
I was sinking into the depression and overwhelming doubt that
accompanies the long wait, and the days that followed were tainted with
self-destructive behavior. As a long stormy wet week of driving rains
were swept out by the first cold snaps of November, I eventually
cracked under the pressure; sinking into a marathon of pornographic
self-indulgence with a string of guys I can't even remember now. With
every one of them I had unprotected sex, and made no bones about the
fact that I had just gotten tested but didn't know my results yet.
Nobody cared, and seemingly all were in the same place
psychologically. While growing up in the Midwest hiding our true
sexual identities, all bullied by the objects of our desire--the jocks,
farm boys, frat boys, and even other closeted "bi-curious" guys; we all
had escaped our painful adolescences and moved to the big city. At
this point we were free for the first time to be ourselves, and to
actually feel loved and desired for who we really were as young gay men
in our sexual prime. Nothing and no one was going to tell us we were
wrong, and if they did, "fuck 'em," because they had no idea what it
was like to be us, and had no right to tell us anything about morality,
safe sex, real love, or the perils of real life on this Earth.
Through that madness, though, a beam of bright unavoidable light
entered my window one morning, a couple of days before I was scheduled
to pick up my test results at Howard Brown Clinic. I woke up laying in
my bed with a boyishly cute, athletic, proudly southern, unabashedly
nice guy who pulled me closer to him as he slept; unaware I was
watching the reflection of us in the mirrored closet doors next to my
bed. Studying the peaceful scene with just the two of us laying there,
my eyes began to tear up and a sense of joy and bliss filled my soul
for the first time in nearly 3 years, because immediately sensed that
this guy could be the one that God had sent to my house to pull me out
of the morass, and show me that I was loved. He was going to fight for
me like no one ever had; to raise me back up to a place where I could
understand and appreciate why I was put here, facing the uncertain
future of living with HIV.
The day of my appointment
I was a wretched nervous wreck. I was
still recovering from the sleep deprivation that the prior 10 days had
wrought, and I barely pulled myself together to choke down half of a
turkey sandwich, gulped down a full bottle of Gatorade in a single
swallow , and headed out the door on time to make it to Howard Brown.
En route to the appointment, my cell phone beeped with an SMS text from
my new crush, telling me he wanted to be there for me, asking me to
please call him afterwards, to let him help me deal with the news,
whatever the outcome. I didn't quite believe him, but reluctantly
agreed to call, even though I wasn't sure I wanted anyone to get this
close to me in my fragile state. I didn't want to be hurt again, and
my lack of trust was evident in my response. "OK, sure," I texted
back, not knowing what I would actually do after I got the news.
I checked in on time at Howard Brown, and was escorted to a
closet-like windowless room with a small lamp, a couple of plants, a
narrow writing desk and 2 chairs within. I watched my wristwatch while
waiting, and 30 seconds later a smiling counselor knocked twice quietly
on the door, introduced himself, inviting me to sit down with him. He
had my file in his right hand, and set it on the table along with a
couple of pamphlets and an intake form for treatment. He didn't even
have to say a word, as the look of concern and compassion foreshadowed
the news. "I'm very sorry, Scott. Your tests came back positive for
HIV."
I was numb, and my ears rang. I barely remember the rest of the
appointment, as the counselor ran down my CD4 and viral load numbers.
He gave me a copy of the results, and offered follow-up counseling for
my new carry-on baggage that would be with me for the rest of my life.
Leaving the appointment, I broke down on the sidewalk just a block away
from the clinic, ducking into a nearby alley to sit on the ground next
to a dumpster. Sitting there, literally in the gutter, I sobbed
uncontrollably, hyperventilating myself into dizziness. Suddenly I
couldn't breathe, as my chest contracted from the combination of cold
fall air and psychological shock trauma to my nervous system. I threw
up on the ground next to me, and my throat burned with the searing pain
of stomach acid receding back into my gut.
I couldn't move. Here I was, frozen in time, going into shock in
the cold hard alley under the Brown Line el tracks along Irving Park
Road, with no one around to help me. As I lied there I wondered, "is
there anyone who cares whether I live or die right now? God, do you
hear me? Why? Please tell me why I deserve this."
I tried to get back up but my shaky legs would not hold me. I fell
back to the bricks, catching myself with my left hand on the way down.
Fortunately the dizziness began to subside, oxygen started returning to
my body and brain, and suddenly my vision became razor sharp, as if I
was watching a high-definition film at the Navy Pier IMAX. My cell
phone was vibrating in my pocket and ringing continuously, 7 calls in
succession had ticked off on my cell while I had been there, and only
now was I cognizant that someone was desperately trying to find me.
It was my crush. He had gotten off work, and was disturbed that I
hadn't called him yet. Two and a half hours had passed since I had
texted him back, and he told me that his natural sense of alarm had
told him that I was in trouble somewhere and needed help. He had
sensed that I needed him, and as I picked myself up and managed to drag
my shaking frame into a passing cab, he rushed to meet me at my house,
helping me up the stairs and staying to comfort me. As we sat on my
bed I began to cry, and I told him that I was worthless, and that I
appreciated his help but that he probably didn't want to get involved
with a pathetic loser like me who was emotionally bankrupt and sexually
damaged. I told him he should go, that I didn't want to hurt him, or
worse, doom him to the same fate of getting this terrible death
sentence.
He would not hear of it, and put me in a bear hug, to whisper in my
ear. He said that the instant we met the week before, at the moment
our eyes met, he instinctively knew that I was going to be someone
significant in his life, and that he thought he might be in love with
me. He told me that HIV was not a death sentence, and that contrary to
my self-deprecating evaluation of my own being, he considered me to be
one of the most incredible guys he had ever met. He said he believed
that I was given the HIV virus for a reason, that I would survive to
tell the tale, and that my purpose in life would be shaped by a larger
purpose for my experiences surviving this and my previous calamities.
He said he believed in his heart that I needed to listen to my soul and
take control of my life and being back, to fulfill the promise that was
within me. Finally, he told me that it was going to take an army to
keep him away from me, and that there was nothing that was going to
drive him off. He was here to stay, and I "had just better get used to
it, because we're not in control of our situation! He is!" and pointed
upwards.
It was at this moment that from my overall shock and depression, a
new page was turning in my life. Just when I could not stand on my
own, when I thought my life was nearly over, and when I literally was
on my back and did not know if I was going to make it to the next
moment; when I asked the critical questions, God answered me with a
guardian angel's touch in my hour of need. Over the next several days
I rapidly realized that no longer would I be in the driver's seat of my
career, life, or purpose. I would learn through a series of
serendipitous events that I had been saved for a reason; and that my
path was directly tied to this person, for better or for worse.
It was not long after Tim Jones came into my life that an epiphany
came to me about why I had been saved from my self-destructive spiral.
In a dream that vividly depicted me standing at a lectern, giving a
speech to a packed room of people, sharing messages of survival and
higher purpose; where I was thanked by hundreds for sharing my story, I
saw myself with Tim standing behind me, signing autographs in my
newly-published first book. Now, immediately wide awake, I looked
beside me to find my mostly-blank journal notebook I had been carrying
around for days, but had yet to write anything within its pages. I
began writing the original series of handwritten journal entries that
gave me the basis of the body of work which became
scottsbigmouth.blogspot.com, and now ScottsBigMouth.com. Five years
have passed now, and Tim and I celebrated together last month our
journey, by recommitting to our shared life path as it unfolds before
us.
When I was diagnosed, it was Tim who aggressively encouraged me to
explore my writing, and prioritize it above all other things--above
money, my consulting practice, and above any other job that I have done
in the past 5 years. Fortunately, my bosses at the various Chicago
companies and organizations I have worked with also have been very
supportive of my work, and no one ever has asked me to stop writing.
Quite the opposite, in fact, as many of my co-workers and friends,
supervisors and bosses, clients and subjects of my reporting and
commentary have become regular readers of ScottsBigMouth and
subscribers to the ScottsBigMouthBITES newsletter launched last month.
Today, on World AIDS Day, I am telling my story so that people know
why today, more than ever, it is unquestionable that we need to
re-invest in HIV/AIDS research, medical assistance for the millions of
diagnosed and unknown numbers of undiagnosed carriers, free HIV/AIDS
treatment and case management at the community level to help people
live healthy lives while surviving with HIV, and massively recommit to
testing and education for the entire population.
I continue to live with the virus, now undetectable thanks to a new
generation of anti-retroviral drugs and testosterone therapy, ongoing
support from my family and Tim's family, understanding and compassion
from friends, and excellent treatment I have received from providers
like The Core Center at Cook County Hospital, Dr. J. Wesley Cook, D.O.
Family Medicine, and Access Community Health Care Services at TPAN; I
bounced back and for 3 years produced stories and commentary about our
world, our country, our community, and issues that matter to
Progressives and Centrists of all persuasions and perspectives.
Political, world, and local events this year demonstrated to us that
the fight for equality and social justice for the GLBTQ community,
people living with HIV/AIDS, the battle of defeating racial and
religious bigotry and extremism, and showing people that the politics
of division are not the right course for our world are battles that
really have just begun. We learned in a handful of states that the
Mormon Church, Focus On The Family and its Founder James Dobson, The
Westboro Baptist Church and its leader Fred Phelps, Rush Limbaugh, Sean
Hannity, Bill O'Reilly, Fox News, Newt Gingrich, Ralph Reed, Darth
Vader Dick Cheney, and Dr. Evil Karl Rove; all poured millions of
dollars and airtime into efforts aimed at taking civil rights away from
people like Tim and me--all in the shadow of Americans' mandate for
change and unity manifesting itself through a massive political shift
in the electorate, millions turning out to elect the first
Commander-In-Chief of African American descent in President-Elect
Barack Obama.
With the announcement of his Cabinet and nominations for
appointments and staff, comprised of a well-qualified and distinguished
cross-section of leaders and experts in Foreign Policy, National
Security, Global Financial and Economic Policy; Mr. Obama has set a new
standard for reaching across the political divide, focusing on
substance and quality, while simultaneously successfully engaging his
new role in a manner never before seen in a President-Elect.
New, serious questions popped in to my head this morning, though;
while watching him officially announce that his former political
opponent, Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton, would become his new
Secretary of State, and his choices of Arizona Governor Janet
Napolitano as Secretary of Homeland Security, current Secretary of
Defense Robert Gates to remain as SECDEF in the new administration,
retired Marine Gen. James Jones as White House National Security
Adviser, former Clinton Administration Assistant Attorney General Eric
Holder as Attorney General, and Susan Rice as UN Ambassador.
With his focus on the major national security and economic
issues he faces, what will he actually do to halt the scourge of
HIV/AIDS and secure true, unquestioned, federally-mandated civil rights
equality for all Americans; regardless of race, religion, sexual
orientation, economic class, or marital status?
With all of Mr. Obama's talk of real change, one key area where he
has been somewhat hypocritical during the campaign, and silent since
the election; is exactly what he's going to actually do for the
millions of GLBTQ citizens in this country that unified to become a
major block of activist-oriented supporters of his candidacy, and
turned out an unprecedented percentage of voters for him? During the
campaign he parsed his answers to GLBTQ civil rights, marriage rights,
civil unions, and employer anti-discrimination laws to protect us.
He has also been mum on real numbers behind his Universal Health
Care proposals, major funding of HIV/AIDS research, testing, diagnosis,
treatment, social services programs to support HIV/AIDS carriers, fair
and non-ideological sex education, gender equity education, and GLBTQ
tolerance and sensitivity education and training programs for schools
and businesses; and has not announced his choice of Surgeon General.
The selection of former Senator Tom Daschle as Secretary of Secretary
of Health and Human Services, however, bodes well to signal that the
direction could be a positive one for the GLBTQ and Progressive
communities that overwhelmingly reject anti-discrimination laws like
Prop 8 in California and support social justice and equal rights for
all Americans in the areas mentioned here; and coalesced to elect him
in a landslide.
Will he actually take his mandate for real change and unity out for
a spin by demanding equality for all of the people who supported him,
donated money, made phone calls, became activist organizers, and
ultimately stepped up to vote for him as their President? Will he
truly put his power and position as the great new leader of our country
in gear when it comes to representing the best interests of all
Americans? Will he commit to re-aligning our country with the
significant number of civilized nations that have enacted real equality
through national legislation, produced enhanced funding for HIV/AIDS
programs to combat the the epidemic and find a cure? Will he
decriminalized drug laws while simultaneously reinforcing policies that
endorse treatment of addiction as a medical condition instead of
treating users as criminals and throwing them in jail; where they often
are exposed to even greater risks of HIV/AIDS in prisons and county
jails?
Finally, will he really commit to exposing and stamping out all
forms of religious extremism by authorizing his Justice Department, the
IRS, and FEC to aggressively investigate, expose, and punish those
religious institutions within our own country that have crossed the
line of Separation of Church and State; violated campaign finance and
tax laws by surreptitiously diverting their religious organizations'
time, money, and church resources towards political causes like Prop 8,
Anti-GLBT and gender discrimination campaigns, anti-stem cell research
legislation, and anti-choice legislation?
Each of these questions are left unanswered, and are truly
battlegrounds across which our country must cross if we are ever to
become a nation of true equals and real civil and social equality. We
must not allow our voices to be quashed or ignored, or allow our
elected leaders to ignore our calls for a reformed set of national
priorities that includes us in the overall plan for Change. We must
turn up the heat and redouble our efforts to invigorate our communities
towards demanding real equality and elimination of HIV/AIDS and
institutionalized discrimination in the workplace, and in society as a
whole.
Above all, we must ensure that the last 8 years are fresh on the
minds of all of those who think we can do better than we have to truly
lead in the global community, and convince them one-on-one that all
forms of discrimination and hatred are wrong, We must put our faces in
their heads as the people who are hurt by the divisive policies
supported, trumpeted, and championed by the Reagan, Bush, Rove,
Gingrich, Reed, Atwater, Thurmond, Helms, Buchanan, Limbaugh, O'Reilly,
Hannity, Coulter, Ailes, Dobson, Ingram Cheney, and yes, Palin camps.
Not one of these hateful and shamefully dishonest brokers of
intolerance should ever be allowed to regain power by disseminating
hate speech and sewing division through subversive campaigns laced with
code words, class warfare, and blatant legislative power plays aimed at
marginalizing groups of people under the guise of their idealogical
reinterpretations of the U.S. Constitution.
World AIDS Day means more to me this year because of what I have
experienced, but because more than ever I realize my purpose on this
earth to keep hammering on the agents of intolerance that contributed
to my own story in a very personal way, so as to help free others from
having to suffer the pain, discrimination, quiet despair, and downward
spiral that I fell into over the past 8 years. This year, I'm telling
my story to fight back, letting everyone know that we're only halfway
down the path to real equality and justice for all Americans, and a
very long way from winning the battle for equality for all human beings.
I hope you'll join me in fighting back, by demanding from our
elected officials, community leaders, religious leaders, and friends
and neighbors that they take action to join us in erasing
discrimination in all its forms, and to give GLBTQ couples like Tim and
me the same rights to marriage as everyone else. We need to keep
reminding people, through action and visibility, political pressure and
vocal peaceful protest, that we will not be the one group of people in
our country who are left out of Obama's plan to change our country and
establish a fair, unified, committed nation of laws and social
equality. We must not rest until everyone is truly treated as equals,
without condition, and that those who endorse policies that divide or
discriminate have no place in a civilized society.
Its World AIDS Day. What are you doing today to reach a day when we don't need one?
>>>>>>>>>>> ScottsBigMouth Is Presented By <<<<<<<<<<<
On the eve of the International Conference on HIV / AIDS, kicking off
today in Mexico City, Mexico, a revelation on the depth of the HIV/AIDS
epidemic ripped across the wires. The rate of HIV/AIDS infections in
the United States annually was underreported by roughly 40%. http://www.nytimes.com/2008/08/03/health/03aids.html?scp=2&sq=H...
After all the number crunching, the hemming and hawing over
experimental vaccines, DNA profiles, drug-resistant strains, and
experimental regimens; the numbers we have been talking about are
actually 40% higher than reported. The new numbers tell us that nearly
a quarter of a million additional Americans are living with the virus
that causes AIDS or have full-blown AIDS, up from just over a million
to 1.1 million.
As a self-identified HIV-positive American, I would have expected that
my government was keeping better tabs on the epidemic. More than that,
knowing this new data, I would have expected that U.S. HIV/AIDS
prevention and treatment would be at least as important as other items
on the national agenda, equally-as-important as the economy, jobs,
poverty, corporate responsibility, the housing crisis, etc. I have a
very hard time believing that this data is actually “new” information.
Rather, it seems to me, based upon the particular agencies involved in
public health policy and the Bush Administration's policies towards
dissemination of this type of information, it is becoming clear that in
the last 8 years the Bush Administration has been fudging the numbers
in order to purposefully ignore the domestic HIV/AIDS situation, while
simultaneously giving billions in global HIV/AIDS assistance to appear
empathetic and responsive to the problem.
Meanwhile, U.S. HIV/AIDS prevention policy is hopelessly delivered via
abstinence-only education programming in public and private schools, a
course of “cloaked theology” proving itself ineffective through actual
reported teenage pregnancies and up-ticks in new STD reports not
including HIV/AIDS. At the national and state levels, HIV/AIDS research
dollars, governed by the numbers that are now being “restated,” already
are steered away from domestic “street level” prevention and treatment.
Rather than leading research, prevention, and treatment at home, U.S.
Taxpayers' health care dollars are spent on massive external delivery
of anti-retroviral pharmaceuticals to African countries in an effort to
cultivate needed goodwill, and the all-important access to oil reserves
they hold.
These new numbers arguably are just another bullet in the smoking gun
of hypocrisy that has become the hallmark of today's Republican party.
Through cynical manipulation of all U.S. Government resources towards
relentless pursuit of oil exploration at all costs, massive propaganda
campaigns to confuse the American people, and manipulation of markets
and other government -- all efforts are designed and executed to reward
Republican donors' “investments” in their candidates. Regardless of who
dies on the home front, be it soldiers or those suffering without
adequate health care, the Bush Administration won't spend a dime unless
it benefits their power or their pocketbook.
Obviously that statement is arguably controversial, especially because
the Bushies claim they care about people with HIV/AIDS. The problem is,
they only care when oil is connected to the situation. If you asked
George W. Bush and Laura “Pickles” Bush to come down to the hood or to
boystown to tour an HIV/AIDS not-for-profit treatment and services
program...oh, I don't know...like TPAN here in Chicago
(http://www.tpan.org), I guarantee you will get a non-response. Heck,
we can't even get local Republican candidates to come down and witness
the lack of resources, scarcity of free adequate HIV/AIDS care, and
widespread starvation that exists here--let alone getting POTUS to stop
by.
The truth is that we gays and african-americans have been written-off
as “disposable” by the Republicans in charge of our current U.S. (and
many local) government. We don't give a lot of money to them, we don't
align with their right-wing conservative Christian ideology, and we
don't “fall in line” behind the straight white guys who are their
candidates. As a result, this 40% number, in any other context a scary
increase over previously-disclosed numbers, will barely be reported in
the corporately-controlled, Republican-leaning mainstream media.
Rather, it will be swept under the rug, like all other things that
affect the poor, afflicted, and less-powerful; and will only be spread
under the left-wing and progressive blogs. The caveat is that if enough
of these left-wing sites spread the message far enough, maybe, just
maybe a brave reporter for Big Media will do some digging...of course,
then that person's editor will nix their story.
>>>>>>>>>> ScottsBigMouth Is Presented By <<<<<<<<<<
(UPI) – HIV researchers at the University of Texas Medical School
in Houston said they think they've found the chink in armor of the
virus linked to AIDS.
The vulnerable spot is hidden in a protein essential for the Human
Immunodeficiency Virus, the virus that causes Acquired Immune
Deficiency Syndrome, to attach to host cells, the university said in a
release.
An HIV vaccine doesn't exist because HIV is a mutating virus.
The scientists said they are focusing on a stretch of amino acids on HIV's envelope protein gp120.
"Unlike the changeable regions of its envelope, HIV needs at least one
region that must remain constant to attach to cells. If this region
changes, HIV cannot infect cells," said Sudhir Paul, a pathology
professor at the UT Medical School.
Paul's group engineered antibodies with enzymatic activity, called abzymes, that can attack the virus's weakness.
The abzymes recognize essentially all of the diverse HIV forms found
across the world. This solves the problem of HIV changeability, Paul
said. The next step is to confirm our theory in human clinical trials.
The theory was in a recent issue of Autoimmunity Reviews and will be
presented during the International AIDS Conference Aug. 3-8 in Mexico
City.
Ambassador
Mark R. Dybul serves as the United States Global AIDS Coordinator,
leading the implementation of President Bush's Emergency Plan for AIDS
Relief. From March to August 2006, he served as Acting U.S. Global AIDS
Coordinator, and prior to that he held the positions of Deputy U.S.
Global AIDS Coordinator and Assistant U.S. Global AIDS Coordinator.
